I think I'm slowly dying now.  I'm sad.   Its not natural. But its okay. I'm not okay.  But I will be.  I just wanted someone to hold me.  And I walk away.  Yeah and I walk away. I'll be strong and I'll laugh.  While I'm breaking and crumbling.  And I want to write again. I have the urge to write again.  I need to get these feelings and thoughts out in a story.  I wanted love.
And I got more pain.  I wanted understanding and I got shame.  
Earshot
Someone


And if you could make up
for every single time you lied
I'd probably whisper this
hello, goodbye
and so it begins and gets
harder each and every time
I start to reminisce

I never seem to ever find


someone I can trust
someone I believe
someone who will never try
to bring me to my knees

someday I will find again
someone just like me
someone who will take the time
in understanding me

and if I could make up
for every single tear you've cried
I'd probly never miss
your hand in mine

I never could understand
mistakes I repeat again
I've been through this so many times

I never seem to ever find
someone I can trust
someone I believe
someone who will never try
to bring me to my knees

someday I will find again
someone just like me
someone who will take the time
in understanding me

I've stopped searching
to take my time
and to really clear my head
I believe in whats meant to be
and I feel its time to know

and if you could make up
for every single time you lied
I'd probly whisper this

I never seem to ever find
someone I can trust
someone I believe
someone who will never try
to bring me to my knees

someday I will find again
someone just like me
someone who will take the time
in understanding me

never breath
never scream
someone who believes
never lies to me
and would die for
me
I begin to believe now that it would be best for me to just lay back down and pretend as though today and yesterday never happened. To dream is to damn me to cry.  To cry is bring my weakness open.  I want to be like them.  Happy and free.  But cliche as it is I am a caged brid without a key.  And I want to fly, if only to fall. Because in falling I'm most like them.  I'd be tragic and lost.  And I would have meaning left to find.  But I'm not like them.  And I'll love them, belong to them, but never be one of them.  I am damned to be what I never chose to be.  And its some hand that turns the wheel, the plucked me out of the cycle or maybe just forgot to mention I existed.  So I'll scream alittle louder.  I'll stick close to my views.  And I'll show them that in the end what they really want is me.  But this is all a lie, and I'm losing it fast.  I find out now that I miss my past.  I look at the sky and see its beautiful and grow sad, because it will never be the same, I will never see that sky again.  And never again will I be this young, never will I have the minutes back it took me to write this.  Never.  



      Forever is Just Endless Moments of Never.

Xx I set out of my way today to find a song that reminded me of people. I just think I came up short. I attempted then to find a song that was my own. One which I also did not find. So now I sit with a delima, and no I'm not pondering how to spell such words, no I merely drinking in the night. so instead I put together a mix of song lines.. xX

I'm never gonna be good enough for you
And you can't change me
I'm sorry I can't be perfect
Talking to her self
There's no else who needs to know
She told herself
Last time I talked to you
You were lonely and out of place
You were looking down on me
Lost out in space
We laid underneath the stars
Your so pathetic
What good is confidence?
But one still shimmering and leading me on
My inpiration is an evening star
So come to me where ever you are
I will wait for you alone in the dark
Help me
You tear down my reason
help me
Your sex I smell
Help me
You make me perfect
Help me think I'm somebody else
The walls you build around yourself
I guess they also keep you here
Are you afraid of what they think?
Whoever they happen to be
I hope you come up to heaven right now
its all over its all over now
Can I be changed
Or am I same
I need something beautiful
To fill the space we've taken up
I need something to feel real
Again before I go numb
I never thought I would forget this hate
Then a phone call made me realize
I'm wrong
I blame myself for being too much
like somebody else
Love to be beside you, the way you smell
The way your lips feel, and your fingernails
The way your fingers, crawl up my spine,
And I almost had you
But I guess that doesn't cut it
The light that in your eyes
like everyone wants it to be
I blame myself for standing there too long
Why does it feel like this world is just not for us
Why does it feel like this world's all they've got for us
Why does it feel like nobody's watching us 

 Simple Plan- Perfect
Pearl Jam- Better man
Somewhere out there
Local H - Bound for the Floor
Greta Gains - Firefly
NIN
Staind- reality
Revis- seven
Sevendust- beautiful
Our lady peace- 4 a.m
Saliva- Weight of the world
Bowling for soup- almost
Theory of a deaman- Last song

 I searched my body with my hands and found the bruises your teeth had left along my breasts and down to my stomach.  I vividly remember the hot stinging feeling that flooded over my body with each pull on my skin.  And a smile crossed my face.  I knew you too had bruises where my teeth had explored you.  Your breasts, no your nipples seemed to be my favorite part.  That along with the curve of your neck and those slight shoulders. Your wonderous throat and your ears.  I wanted more.  I wanted you.  My hands begged deeply along your sides, rubbing those breakable ribs.  But we have a rule don't we?  Can't touch under the pants.  But I was close to breaking my own rule.  And in those rare moments when our lips clashed together, I found it a waste of my time.  I wanted to taste you.  I loved it when you gasped and threw your nails down my back.  It was a sliced of the damned when you threw me onto my back and sunk your teeth into me.  Oh and I had to be quiet.  I should have let my hands travel to forbidden places. But you wouldn't let me.   And you know I would have moaned your name for hours longer. If our paranoid selves hadn't ended it.  The heat fell away, the crisp air of the night hitting my sweat lined body.  I was cold.  I wanted your lips.  But I just smiled and walked away.  It was just another night. Just like all the rest.

Aries 60%
Taurus 40%
Gemini 73%
Cancer 40%
Leo 60%
Virgo 87%
Libra 53%
Scorpio 53%
Sagittarius 87%
Capricorn 53%
Aquarius 87%
Pisces 60%

Alright I want to just know why everything just works out fine?Well at least everything was fine Tuesday.  Nothing went wrong.  Everything went right.  I guess that needs to happen every now and then.  I deserve things to work out.  Yeah that sounds self absorbed, but I give up too much to everyone else to not get anything back.  I rarely get anything back.  Well thats just me.  Waiting.  For what? I suppose some reconition for what I do.  Dearest I can't spell.  haha.  Anyway. I beg you to tell me why should I believe in god?  What has god ever done for me?  god in my opinion doesn't exist.  Neither does heaven or hell.  So...hate me if you want. Try to battle me in wits with your points.  It won't work.

My Views on Today's Issues:

Gays should have the right to marry

Religion should be abloished

Murders should be killed

People have the right to euthenasia

Woman have the right to abortion

Am I Extermally liberal so.

Something that came to mind after hearing things throughout the last couple of weeks.

"Alright you want me to leave you alone.  Fine this is me leaving you alone.  But frist I want to say one thing. 

FUCK YOU

I find it a bit weak that you never even tell me what is on your mind. That I have to find out what your actually thinking from other people.  Good job I want to applaud you now for making me see the truth.  You want me to leave you alone. Fine I'll just go away.  And for anyone who bothers to read this, this is my last entry about Jessie.  Let her plague someone elses life."

Probably not the last one.  I often mislead myself.

I know I see you.  I think you love me.  So why don't you show it?  And its coming to a point where I'm about to break.  Breaking these chians you hold against me.  And usually the feel of the cold metal against my burning skin would make my legs kiss each other goodbye and met again around your body.  Still it sounds so cliche.  You hold me down.  I want you to hold me down.  I want nothing more then for you to break me.  Give me all of you so that I may have a reason to scream. I throw myself against the droplets of the shower.  Shining metal, my body deformed in its reflection.  But it feels so damn good.  You are my addiction.  And I'll always have the abilty to make it all go away.  And I can close my eyes before I sleep.  Still I can lie down and feel my body shake.  Sobbing sobbing. But those streams running along my body will rejuvenate my cheeks.  That always sting with last nights fallen tears.  I've admitted to myself you'll never be mine.  Frankly it doesn't matter.  With your mismatched hair and your peircing eyes, and your wandering attention, I couldn't imagine being anything more then just the second hug.  And I ask you hold me. Hold me.  I want to be held. Damn it.  Hold me.  I am not all strength.  I realize this at night.  When those wet crystals caress my body.  That I am not strong.  I can too be weak.  We were never meant to be, but I still believe in us.

Seven Deadly Sins
ANGER

1. Who did you last get angry with? My parents
2. What is your weapon of choice? Sword
3. Would you hit a member of the opposite sex? Of course
4. How about of the same sex? Duh
5. Who was the last person to get really angry at you? I dunno. 
6. What is your pet peeve? When People file their nails. I hate that sound. Oh and stupid people.
7. Do you keep grudges, or can you let things go? Most things I've let go. but I can hold grudges.

SLOTH

1. What is one thing you're supposed to do daily that you have not done in a long time? Sleep
2. What is the latest you've ever woken up? 5 at night
3. Name a person you've been meaning to contact, but haven't: Hoey
4. What is the last lame excuse you made? We had an assembly.
5. Have you ever watched an infomercial all the way through? Haha, yeah.
6. When was the last time you got a good workout in? ah..dunno can't think that far back
7. How many times did you hit the snooze button on your alarm clock today? none I don't own an alarm clock

GLUTTONY

1. What is your overpriced yuppie beverage of choice? ah...bottle water
2. Do you eat the skin off of chicken? Yeah
3. Have you ever used a professional diet company? No...
4. Do you have an issue with your weight?  I'm overweight but happy
5. Do you prefer sweets, salty foods, or spicy foods? All foods.
6. Have you ever looked at a small house pet or child and thought, lunch? ah..no...but I have had cat

LUST

1. How many people have you seen naked? lots
2. How many people have seen YOU naked? ah...a few
3. Have you ever caught yourself staring at the chest/crotch of the opposite sex during a normal conversation? HA Hell yeah!!!
5. What is your favorite body part on the opposite sex? Their eyes and their hips
6. Have you ever been propositioned by a prostitute? No
7. Have you ever had to get tested for an STD or pregnancy? No

GREED

1. How many credit cards do you own? none.
2. What's your guilty pleasure store? ah...the mall
3. If you had $1 million, what would you do with it? Buy a car Buy a house and then go shopping.
4. Would you rather be rich, or famous? Rich
5. Would you accept a boring job if it meant you would make megabucks? yeah
6. Have you ever stolen anything? Yes
7. How many MP3s are on your hard drive? lots.

PRIDE

1. What's one thing have you done that you're most proud of? Grown to love myself
2. What's one thing have you done that your parents are most proud of? Saved my sisters life.
3. What's one thing would you like to accomplish in your life? Doing something with finace
4. Do you get annoyed by coming in second place? Nah.  I know there's always going to be someone better at something than me.
5. Have you ever entered a contest of skill, knowing you were of much higher skill than the other contestants? Who hasn't? 
6. Have you ever cheated on something to get a higher score? Yes
7. What did you do today that you're proud of? Woke up

ENVY

1. What item of your friends' would you most want to have for your own? car.
2. Who would you want to go on "Trading Spaces" with? ah...no one its MY house MY house.
3. If you could be anyone else in the world, who would you be? A sexier me
4. Have you ever been cheated on? Definately. 
5. Have you ever wished you had a physical feature different from your own? Yeah
6. What inborn trait do you see in others that you wish you had for yourself? Beautiful skin complexion
7. Do you wish you'd come up with this survey? No.  If I had I wouldn't have answered them honestly.

EVERYTHING ELSE

Something important on your desk: my matches
When you sleep you wear: teeshirt and shorts....sometimes just shorts
If you could afford it at the moment, you would buy: a car
Something you don't have a lot of: Money
If your house was burning and you could only save 3 items what would they be: My sisters, my dogs, and myself.

MORALS

If there were no side effects, you would enjoy being addicted to: weed
A time when you purposly hurt someone emotionally: Anytime really I don't like people knowing my business.
A time you accidentally hurt someone emotionally: When I tell people they hurt me.

 FRIENDS:

Three traits you look for in a friend: Doesn't lie, won't hurt me purposely, has a sense of humor.
Who makes you laugh most often: my friends.
A friend who you can tell anything: ah...MAX
A friend you can go to for advice: Nobody really.
The best piece of advice you had been given: Woman are better then men.
Two closest friends: Ah I have a few.
The friend who uses most of your energy: Jessie

EGO

Your 3 best qualities: I'm understanding, I'm funny as hell, and you can always depend on me.
Your 3 worst qualities: When I am angry, you'd much rather not be around me, jealous(shh thats a secert),Can be overly insecure at the most random of times
Describe your ideal self: Uhh...
A compliment that makes you blush: "You look good enough to eat."
You are embarassed when: I'm embarrassed when I get caught doing something I'm not suppose to be doing or am getting complimented.
The greatest physical pain you ever endured: Ah...I dunno.
The greatest emotional pain you ever endured: Being inbetween heartbreak and complete love.
Moment you are most ashamed of: My past years 7-11
Your best physical feature: umm...my boobs
Who/What makes you happy: I do. music and writing.
Who/what makes you sad: when people make plans in front of me it makes me feel like I'm not even wanted.

EMOTIONS

Emotion you hide most: Love
The emotion you tend to experience most: detachment
The emotion you are feeling most lately: calm
You have a huge amount of guilt regarding: Missed oppurtunities.
When you are angry you need: To be alone in a room to be able to break stuff or just sit and cry.
When you are sentimental you need: Someone to see or hear all that I have to say.
When you are in love you need: To be alone. If I can't have the one I love

MEMORIES

One of your most peaceful memories: Swinging on the swing up at my grandparents.
One of your most tragic memories: When Merlin was put down.
One of you angriest memories: Kyle
A memory that makes you laugh: When the man was cleaning the doors at walmart wouldn't open for me and i walked into them....twice.
A memory that makes you happy: ..ah...I dunno

LOVE

Something someone can say or do that you find extremely attractive: let me lick their neck or bite them
Something someone can say or do that you find unattractive: Smoke.
Two things appealing about people: eyes and personality.
A personality trait you find appealing: Intellect
Your secret passion: Letting all of myself be consumed by the lips of another, opening every part of me when we lie together in the middle of the night.  Showing whoever I'm with who I really am.
What you enjoy most about having a committed relationship: Having someone to hold and who will hold me

RELATING

Do you have a bf/gf? if yes who? No
What do you find sexy about people your interested in: confidence or insecurties
What drives you crazy (in a good way) about people your interested in: Licking of lips
Describe them physicaly: doesn't matter
Describle their personality: they have to have a sense of humor and be intelligent
You feel most attractive when: Someone wraps their arms around me
Favorite thing you like to see them wear (clothing wise don't say naked): Anything that they are comfortable in cause then they would be sexy.
What would you like them to do more of: Speak to me

FINALLY>>>>>>

If you had more time alone you would: cry or write
If you had more patience you would: be a god. haha
If you could change one thing about your physical appearance what would it be: my tummy!! lol

If you had no commitments what would you be doing? Driving somewhere
If you could have one super power what would it be: read minds so I could know what people really think of me
If you could start all over...: I wouldn't make the same mistakes.

Its monday.  And I'm waiting for it to rain. So I can curl in my midnight room fold over my purple book and write.  And to every raindrop just lose myself in a daze and let everything  that flows out stay.  And in my uncritizing moments I would reveal to the milky pages my   deepest inner most thoughts.  And I can almost bet the tip of my tongue that you won't understand what I am talking about.  But its rather me uncaring weather you do or not.  There are parts of me you will never see.  Thoughts that can and will never be explained.  My dreams are what fuel me, but I doubt you'll ever stay around long enough, or give a damn enough to try and figure it out.  And it'll take three of you and then two more just to figure out what the hidden meaning is behind a few words. And I'm everything you ever wished you become, and I'm everything you hate.  So leave me where I am, walk away from me.  Cause you'll wonder on down that road and I'm telling you. Years from now when we met up again its you who will feel deeper for me, and its me who will have thought of you only in memories.  And I don't hate.  Its too much at times.  But I could learn.  Just give me a chance.  And I Love me.  And frankly I don't give a fuck if no one else does.  I've already dealt with the fact that I'll be alone, and I'm fine with that, And you'll never know the true me. Cause she has wings.  And she'll lean against the wall with a small smile, looking at everyone in admiriation.  And you'll speak to her, reach out to touch her, and she'll grab your hand, make you feel everything you've ever wanted to feel, and then she'll dissapear.  And don't worry she does it to me too.  So I wait with the wind howling, the cold caressing my naked body, midnight dancing around me, waiting for it to rain.

Someone tonight asked me what am I fascinated by. and I replied to them "I don't know" but really its clear to me. Here are Mine[in no perticular order]:

1 people
2 voices
3 stars
4 ghosts
5 history
6 mythology
7 words
8 eyes
9 hope
10 taste
11 controversial issues
12 The point where the sky meets the earth
13 hips
14 music
15 natural grace
16 beliefs
17 fire
18 fate
19 imgination
20 lack of a sense of humor
21 rain
22 smell
24 dictators
25 the "What if"

Fine.  Fine.  Alright.  I'll admit it.  I'm broken.  I hurt.  I am trying to be better.  I just feel like I'm not good enough sometimes.  I look around and all the amazing people so happy so perfectly tragic.  And me?  I'm just so damn broken.  I love me.  For once in my life I love me.  I am happy with who I am.  But no one else knows.  No one else sees my triumph.  No one else sees me.  Kayla brought to my attention Jessie's newest post and it made me think. Made me think about all the people I have hurt.  About the confessions

Whitney:
I've known you for so long.  Maybe you see how much I've changed you told me once that I am finally the person that I was meant to be.  And you tell me to hold on.  And you have held me as I've cried.  You've been the person that I have broken down on the most.  And I'm sorry, but frankly I couldn't have made it through the past few years without you.  And i'll miss you when you move away.  I'll hold you fondly in my memories.  I just hope you will for me.  And dear god I fucked up our friendship I completly freaked out when I found out that you loved me.  I was so scared.  You were my constant and now there was something in the way.  You loved me.  I was scared because that I saw that I was going to lose you. And I hated him.  God I hated Craig. I wanted him to just dissapear.  He was taking you away and that was so selfish of me.  You had a right to be happy but I believed so strongly that I had a right to our friendship.  And I've let so much get in between us.  I'm so sorry.

Melissa:
I walked away from you when your mother died I had never had anyone die on me and I didn't know what to do when you began to cry about it.  When you something of bitterness and strength began to crumble.  I was so hurt then I was so fucking broken.  I was so depressed I was honestly thinking about killing myself.  And you were so depressed.  And I just didn't think that it was best for me.  I thought about myself.  I was selfish.  I wanted to help you.  I wanted to stay and be strong for you like I had for everyone else.  But I couldn't even be strong enough for myself.  I left everyone for you I thought that it would be best for you everyone there just not me.  I thought you'd be okay.  And you threatened my life.  I hated myself. I was alone and madly depressed.  But somehow we found each other again.  I broke again threw your lonely bitterness.  And I was there when your father was lowered into the ground and I have learned I have been there for you ever since.  I'm trying to help.  I really am.

Dustin:
To think that in 9th grade I had the biggest crush on you.  Ha. So long ago.  And I told you and whitney told you she liked you and ashely told you she liked you and then....well you chose ashely told me that you thought normal was better then weird and I was a little hurt, but somewhere along the line we met back up joked, laughed. had fun. And what can I say I did what I always do I just laughed it off pretended like it was nothing.  And eventually it became nothing. but in the midst of my gothic/jock kick I threw you in.  And I miss talking to you.  But at least we have the same lunch now so I can talk to you everyday and know that I will laugh.

Skylar:
I just want to say that i don't think i was there enough for you.  I should have left with you the night lauren broke up with you.  I should have done more when you were living with your parents.  I should have been there. I wish I could have done more.  I miss you.  You've grown up so fast I feel like everything is just a blur. Like you were never ever there.  I broke threw your strong-I-don't-care demenor and found the hurt child.  And I never got a chance to go further.  Never got a chance to be strong for you like I had for so many others.  I wanted to lend my strength to you.  I wanted you to lean on me. 

Krystal:
I only wish I knew you better.  Your hurt inside.  You flip from one emotion to the other.  And I only wish I knew you better so that you could understand that you can trust me.  That I want to help in any way I can.  You are prehaps the only person, besides every now and then Justin and Whitney, who talks to me on the weekend.  Thank you.  You make me feel as though I am wanted.  As if their is somebody out there who still might want to speak to me.  Who might value my opinon.

Justin:
I've known you maybe a year?...who knows it feels like forever.  Your my worser half:  scarcastic, bitter, and opinionated.  You make it easy for me to play off of you.  You make it seem not so bad to dabble in unconventional behavior.  To look at someone and go "Damn did any one ever tell you your fucking ugly."  Deep down you are a sweetheart, who will listen, who does care, and who is hurting.  And somewhere down the line I think I placed your feelings second to mine.  Thrown what you have to say to nothing. and I'm sorry.  My pain isn't more important then yours.

Kayla:
A friend I never ment to found.  Lean on me, rant to me, cry with me. Anything.  I will listen to anything and half the time words aren't even needed between us we just understand each other.  And behind your hyper behavior you are a intelligent caring soul.  I'll admit I got off on the wrong foot with you I was jealous of you. You had jessie.  But I started to talk to you and I was alright then I had found such an unexpected friend.  Who wasn't angry about my feelings in fact you still trusted me.  That took the wind out of any negative feeling in me.  If it was me I don't know if I would have been so comfortable with it all.  But you were. 

Jessie:
well well well, the name of the blog I might as well call it.  and my livejournal too.  my last entry was so cruel sounding as if I had nothing left as if it was just a clean burn I don't love you and I've moved on, I made it sound as if you ment less to me then school.  I fell in love with you that night we all went to the fuel concernt.  I knew it the moment lauren had called you in the line at mcdonalds that it was her dad's birthday and she couldn't go.  My heart seemed to lift and I couldn't stop smiling.  But I knew it was bad so I think I cracked off some stupid joke(sounds like me.)  That night I couldn't stand it you were so close to me talking about how you want someone.  And I just couldn't stop thinking about you.  And I kept just walking off.  Just wondering away, anywhere from you.  I couldn't stand the thought.   Hadn't love already ruined my probably deepest friendship, how could I dare to trust it with another one?   So I kept my mouth shut.  Then I walked into FYE after not talking to you for months to find out that you were going to go off with Whitney.  I could have fallen to my knees at that moment and sobbed over the floor the hurt that I felt the wind was gone from my lungs I felt like screaming but nothing would come out except "oh, when did the two of you start talking?"  And I walked you out to your car saw her in that passengers seat and it took everything in me to close that car door to turn my back as you drove off my ears taunting me with your system.   I was miserable to my cousin who was down from college that night.  And I felt like shit.  Then it just grew worse I went to Lauren.  I spoke with her.  She calmed me.  Not that I was so over reacting thats not how I am.  Then that night everything happened with Kayla, When I had my arms wrapped around you sitting in the bed of whitney's dad's truck, you and me were crying but whitney wasn't.  And you keep talking about how you don't have anyone to love.  No one.  And the tears that fell from my face were because I loved you.  I just wanted to say it.  I should of.  but I bit it back.  and with it sobs.  All I wanted to do from then on was hold you in my arms and for you to come to me when you were hurting.  On September 3 it became too much, four months I had hide from everyone that I loved you.  I couldn't take it.  I had to let you know.  I had to.  And I was so hurt because I didn't want it fuck up our friendship.  I didn't want to lose you.  And i just pulled whitney onto the porch and it all came out.  I'll never forget the shock on her face.  And sitting in your car. I told you and I hated that I cried. I hated it.  It made me seem so damn pathetic.  And you just started talking about candy having bought like 20 dollars worth of it. and it hurt but it made me laugh.  But I hated the way I was around you.  I couldn't be that strong Rhiannon, I couldn't be that perfect personification of what a true friend is. I was a wreck.  You had somehow broken down ever wall I had every built up around me.  And we both had our problems.  You didn't want to go out with me because you didn't want to treat me as you had all the others.  And I was scared because of what some damn guy had told me years before.  I was so broken when I told you I loved you.  I clung to that.  And quite a few times my love for you was the thing that kept me from killing myself.  You couldn't imagine the countless time I let my car drift into the other lane straight for trees at 60 and above only to jerk the wheel back at the thought: "It would make Jessie cry and who would she lean on if your not there, she needs you, and you love her." So many times.  And then silence between us again.  Oh we have gone months without talking before that was nothing.  But I can't handle this silence.  I can't take it.  Even as I write I cry.  I could never tell you things with out.  Like sitting out in your car in your driveway looking up at the stars and telling myself and you that to want all of you was selfish.  I know more about you then anyone else.  Telling you and me that it was enough.  But its not.  Damn it I lied I still love you.  I still want you. I still need you.  I still cry when I think of you.  And I'll lose you.  After this year what will happen.  You don't know how many times I see you and I just want to wrap my arms around you and say. "I love you. Forgive me.  Please.  I'm just too weak to live without you in some form."  Even if your not with me in person your always in my dreams.  Your always in my arms.  I just figured that if I tell everyone that I don't love you if I write it.  If I say it.  Then I won't. But damn it I've lied. I'm sorry if I ever hurt you forgive me.  I don't care who you are with you will always be my beautiful.